The Good, The Bad and The Messy Grey Area

Alright. Here’s the kicker, we don’t know what “good” and “bad” really is. Let me explain. Killing is an act that is widely accepted as bad. Helping people is widely accepted as good. So what if you kill to help someone? What if the person you help ends up killing someone?

This is the problem. Your acts of kindness do not confirm long-lasting positive effects. In fact, they don’t even confirm short term positive effects either. Your positive intention can easily be misinterpreted. Plus there’s this huge barrier between the thoughts of two people- communication. Our true intentions and meanings can be lost in body language, tone, etc. In reality, being a good person is like jumping into a well, blindfolded. Like seriously, there’s no guarantee that being good is correct. I have no reason to help anyone, they don’t really have obligations to help me. If being good and bad is really just one big messy grey area, what’s the point?

There isn’t one. I can’t spell it out for you. But what I can tell you is that we’re all stuck on this floating rock together heading towards our inevitable doom; so we might as well try to help each other out on the ride. You see that’s the answer, there doesn’t need to be a point to all this. Why not just close your eyes and take the leap? Being a good person is a choice. I don’t know if it’s the best one or if it’s even mediocre, but I do know that being a good person feels right. Deep down, seeing other people happy makes me happy. Seeing my actions bring a positive impact on others makes me happy. So forget about the good and the bad, instead take a look at you, me and everyone else, ‘cause it’s all we’ve got.

You, Me and Everyone Else.

Everybody people, everybody bleed, everybody need something
Everybody loves, everybody knows, how it go

Everybody, Studio album by Logic

These lyrics from Logic’s rap song “Everybody”, capture this concept quite well. We all feel emotion. Anyone of any gender, race, religion, and creed is human just like you and me, we’re all equal. Those that appear tough and masculine experience emotions the same way you do, even if it doesn’t seem like it. All of this equality stuff is really easy to say but incredibly difficult to implement because gender and race-related stereotypes are entrenched in our society. My friend says that what you think first is what society has taught you to think, but the immediate afterthought is yours, just yours. So own it, correct yourself when you are biased, and equality is possible.

Everyone will experience emotions based on what you say to them, so make an effort to maximise the amount of happiness you spread and minimise the negativity. Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. Isn’t that so true? It’s so much harder to be rude when you know someone is suffering, well that’s the thing – we’re all suffering.

Here’s an important and valid question: what about the bad people? Or to be more specific, those that hurt others (physically or verbally). Be kind to them too because they are human after all, but of course, it’s not easy to be nice to someone rude. They may not realize the negative impact they have on other people but you should, so place your resentment aside. Humans may be overwhelmingly bad but learn to see the best in people, especially those that you don’t like. We can only mature by widening our perspective, and with that comes trying to understand the people we do not want to understand. Even the “worst” people have reasons for what they do, try to understand them and maybe they won’t seem as bad anymore.

Act.

Finally, I want to tell you that I can’t help you be a good person. I know this is like the thousandth time I’m contradicting myself but it’s true. No book, no movie, no piece of advice can help you. We read books, we watch movies, we follow advice, but the only thing we learn from is experience. You’re going to lose. You’re going to make mistakes, so don’t be afraid. It is in that moment that you have to realise that we all make mistakes, and giving into that resentment and anger will only push you down a negative path. You have to look at yourself in the mirror and recognise that maybe you’re the problem, but problems can be resolved. Always remember that. Here are some final words of guidance from a 16-year old that is clueless but making an effort to improve:

No matter who you are, it’s not too late to change. It doesn’t matter if everyone loves you or hates you, we can all be better people. And I believe in you even if no one else does. So the next time you see an opportunity to be a better person, take it.
Don’t sit around and watch when someone is hurt. Act, because that’s all we can do.

– Varun Bhosle