By Raghav Maindola

So, picture this, there I was on my first day of school in a new country, staring at a cafeteria with bare decorations and beige white walls, and saw that everyone else was already sitting in their friend groups and chatting away. My heart was already beating as fast as it could, and I could sense that my palms were getting sweaty. That’s the first time I felt as if I was an impostor while everyone else were crewmates. 

A cultural shock is the only way to describe it. From a city of almost 6 million to a sleepy suburban town of barely 6000 people. From a city where we had roots to a place where our nearest relatives were more than 3 hours away. From a school where Indians would’ve been considered the majority to a school where Indians could’ve been considered to be impostors. 

That’s how my move from Singapore to a town outside Philadelphia felt like. A cultural shock. 

Hi, my name is Raghav and I’ve lived in Singapore, Shanghai, the United States, and Hong Kong so far because of my dad’s job relocating him; so I think I know a bit about feeling like an outsider. But I was born in Singapore, and have spent 7 years in this city, the most out of all of the other places. 

One of the times I felt the ‘culture shock’ (as they like to call it) the most was when my family and I moved to the United States from Singapore. The difference between the two places in terms of the culture, community, and society could not have been more prevalent. Add that to the fact that there were about a handful of Asian families in the town, it was easy to stick out as the “new kid”. 

My first month in the new environment was overwhelming, to say the least. There were more than a couple of distinct differences that probably made the adjustment harder for me. For example, moving from wearing uniforms in NPS to wearing whatever I wanted in a public school was exciting for me, as I had never been given that freedom before. However, there were a couple of nuances; such as me eating home-cooked food at lunch compared to everyone else eating Lunchables, or the school food. Going back to what I said earlier, my experience with the cafeteria at the start wasn’t a pretty one; as I stood alone unsure of what to do. Eventually though, I found a table that was free and sat there by myself, until I was joined by my teacher, which probably only aided my persona as the new Indian student in a new country. That’s when the realisation set in that I might have been an ‘impostor’. 

It was tough to adjust to such a different life, but 10 year old me was quick to change. Part of moving around is how well you adjust to the new lifestyle, and although I did feel as if I was alienating my culture/heritage in a way (for example, buying Lunchables instead of bring Indian food for school, or wearing different clothing, or switching my accent up) I felt as if it was necessary. Such transformations didn’t really feel detrimental to me at the time, but I did feel a bit like an impostor in the way I was shedding my identity for someone I wasn’t. But eventually this new identity stuck with me.

Part of my identity being lost, or changed whenever I move to a different place, does sadden me in a sense, yet, on the other hand, this new identity does eventually become a part of my actual identity.

…I did feel a bit like an impostor in the way I was shedding my identity for someone I wasn’t. But eventually this new identity stuck with me.

In a convoluted way, moving around to so many places and feeling left out or feeling as an imposter isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it’s simply an area to grow upon, and it does eventually become a part of your identity and does transform you as a person (either positive or negative – which is dependent on how you see the situation). We’re all quite young, and I’m sure that at one point or another in our life we’ve felt like what’s like being an imposter, perhaps pretending to be someone we aren’t, or changing our personalities to fit into the ‘norm’; yet what we all probably fail to realise is that our changed identity takes its place as our new, and real, identity.