by Ritvik Shekar

We all make hundreds of decisions every day. Some are too inconsequential for us to even dwell on, while others can leave us with a lifetime of regret. This myriad of unexplored choices with potentially more desirable outcomes leads to the question that everyone knows all too well- What if? What if I would have studied more for my exams? What if I would have put more effort into that competition? While it is not at all wrong to ask such questions, we tend to ask them through the lens of complacency and cynicism rather than introspection and self-improvement.

Regret over decisions made in the past and our current situation sets in motion a vicious cycle with the haunting question “What If?”, looming constantly in our thought process. A psychological study by Scott M. McClure, David Isaac Laibson, George Loewenstein, and Jonathan D. Cohen has proved through Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging, which maps changes in the blood flow to brain activity, that the prefrontal cortex, the front region of the brain, is more active when an individual is reflecting on a potentially regrettable decision. The prefrontal cortex acts as the bridge between decision-making and emotional processing and hence is crucial to analyzing a decision and its consequences. This activity in the prefrontal cortex increases the susceptibility of neural pathways to dwelling on regrets, which is why our bad decisions tend to stay in our memory, influencing the decisions we go on to make in the future.

It is necessary first that we change our outlook on regret; rather than viewing it as a dissuasion from our goals in life, we should think of it as a catalyst for change and a better version of ourselves that we never knew existed. It is for such reasons that you will find every coach, teacher and mentor preaching the necessity of failure. We learn more from falling than we ever will by simply staying on our feet.

While regret can, and does lead to self-improvement and personal growth, the ultimate goal is to live a life where we fully back the choices we make, being content with our decision and the outcome that is associated with it, whether it be good or bad. It is a faraway reality for most of us, but faraway does not mean unattainable. Such a state necessitates a path of self-improvement and acceptance, which is indeed easier said than done. While this sounds like an enormous undertaking, it just takes a few simple small steps to get there. By evaluating our minor day-to-day decisions, we can train ourselves to be satisfied with the outcomes, be it for better or for worse.